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Writer's pictureRyan Dulaney

Kamala's Koup

Updated: Aug 27

Everyone fears the horror of a state-controlled media, yet no one blinks at a media-controlled state. Narratives are wind in the sails of politicians, without its favor they are adrift.


Vice President Kamala Harris' presentation is a facade, a weak one at that. The Democrats are replacing a senile puppet grandpa with a seemingly deranged and drugged-up stepmom. However, she knows how to sail and the Republicans don't even know how to swim.


The Palace Coup

Harris has secured the nomination without even receiving a single vote. As President Joe Biden's cognitive capacity declined, Harris' popularity rose. In her term as Vice President, she has gone from a 28% approval rating to the joyful hope of the American left. As soon as it was Joever, Kamala was “brat.


Biden held on as long as he could. He was defended by his staff and the media alike despite his health degenerating in front of our eyes. However, immediately after the debate with former President Donald Trump, the winds changed. Commentators attending the event were solemn, they looked as if they just witnessed an execution. 


In the following weeks, a shower of calls for Biden to step down came from the left-wing media. Reportedly, he was offered an ultimatum by Pelosi, the easy way or the hard way. 


The easy way is to save face with excuses and step down. The hard way being his removal from office via the 25th amendment.


Biden was entitled to run, as he was supposedly fit for office, yet he was undercut by his subordinates. He did not do anything to spur this palace coup, the sharks simply smelled blood in the water.


Of course, it is very possible that he was never fit for office in the first place, in which case we have no idea who has been running the nation for the last three and a half years. One thing is certain though, it was definitely not Kamala Harris.


The Blue Queen

Harris has the demeanor of a wine aunt who popped too many painkillers, yet she was the only choice. By law, the money raised in the 2024 Biden campaign had to be used for either himself or Harris.


Moreover, to skip past Harris, a Black woman, would be both an insult to the dogma of the left and a waste of money. The party has hoisted Kamala’s sail, now the winds of media shall carry her. 


Her appeal to voters is rooted in identity politics: Voting for a candidate's identity rather than policy. Identity politic voters assume that an overlap in identity coincides with shared political desires.


This is not true just for Harris, identity politics have been common in America for decades, she is just the flavor of the week. Women and minority voters will vote for her because she shares their reflection, is that not enough?


Conservative Boomers Are Clueless 

Trump and the Republicans do not have a plan to win. They ruined the most anticipated speech in the last 60 years by priming it with a Kid Rock performance followed by 90 minutes of verbal melatonin. Trump showed his boomer status when he recently posted a poorly made AI fake of Taylor Swift endorsing him. 

 

Vice Presidential candidate JD Vance has obscured his youthful charm within an old man’s skin suit. He is so weak he has been overpowered by the phrase “JD Vance is weird.” This attack is unsophisticated, children who are not potty trained could have thought it up. Yet it works.


Republicans are incompetent at meme warfare. Trump would be better off letting his teenage son, Baron, run his campaign, given no swing voter is convinced by pep rallies or fist-pumping geriatrics. 


The Republicans will lose because of their unwillingness to appeal to young voters. Even in spite of Harris’s unlikeable incompetence. 


Keys to the White House 

Trump is on track to lose. He is going to lose the meme war, he is going to lose in the Midwest and he is going to lose the election. He is thought to have only four of the 13 keys to the White House-notable and accurate predictors-in his favor. Harris has eight with one undecided.


To lose to a candidate who had no primary votes and who has been an objectively bad VP is a supreme embarrassment for Trump. There is no sign of life in the Republican Party, beyond its decaying corpse.


The Kamala Koup worked surprisingly well, it appears we can expect four more years of her grating cackles. 


Acknowledgment: The opinions expressed in this article are those of the individual author.



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