1. Biden Asks Why Trump Didn’t Just Bomb Ayatollah In The Leg – The Babylon Bee

The rapidly increasing military aggression against Iran by coalition forces led by the United States and Israel always seemed like it was always going to be difficult for satirists to make light of. The strategy of The Babylon Bee is to deflect it into a “Joe Biden is a confused old man” joke. The metaphor of a cop who could’ve avoided killing a suspect by shooting him in the leg instead of the head, and tying that to where on his body the now deceased Ayatollah of Iran was supposed to be bombed, doesn’t make a lot of sense. But I guess it makes sense, because Joe Biden isn’t supposed to make sense at his age either.

2. Trump Launches War With Iran and Refuses to Explain…Anything – The Daily Show

Jon Stewart made fun of President Trump for his perceived lackadaisical approach to war with Iran, like making his initial announcement in Florida while wearing a USA hat, or calling the operation “Epic Fury.” Middle East correspondent Jordan Klepper replayed clips of the President claiming there would be no new wars in his administration, sloppily edited to instead sound like Trump loves new wars. Stewart also made fun of a clip of Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth being defensive when asked about a timeline in Iran, comparing the Secretary to a jock from “Revenge Of The Nerds.”

3. Trump Iran War Address Cold Open – Saturday Night Live

James Austin Johnson’s Trump impression impersonates the actual Trump address very well, down to the white USA cap. He describes Trump’s erratic behavior as being similar to Forrest Gump’s box of chocolates, leading to probably the funniest moment of the sketch as he keeps yelling “Gump!” while describing the movie. And Colin Jost’s impression of Pete Hegseth adds some aggressive energy, as he explains that the codename Epic Fury was picked because of the number of letters allowed for a knuckle tattoo.

4. Trump Boys Try Trading In George Washington Portrait At Gamestop – The Onion

The artistic taste of Donald Trump’s two eldest sons is called into question in this Onion piece, as Donald Jr. and Eric try to barter Gilbert Stuart’s portrait of George Washington for a PS5. They don’t seem to appreciate the famous presidential painting, telling the cashier that he doesn’t even need to keep the painting afterwards, that the gold-looking frame must be worth something. It’s also humorously insulting that the boys had to carry the giant painting on foot for 7.5 miles.

5. Under Oath, Hillary Admits She Never Met Bill Clinton – The Humor Times

At her hearing regarding the Epstein files, this satirical article supposes that Hillary Clinton would completely deny ever having met Bill, presumably to not connect herself to his potential crimes. This leads to some wacky explanations, like daughter Chelsea solely being the byproduct of maternal willpower. Apparently advanced animatronics were involved, as well as 1970s era Photoshop, which was definitely a thing.